Friday, December 16, 2011

Things That Fascinate me about My Culture

I have to start this article with a disclaimer, lest I be condemned for being un-African. I am an African and very proud of that fact but in my life, I have taken those bits of my African heritage that suited me and adopted them as part of my lifestyle, and decided to let those that I could not stomach lie. I have been very blessed in my life to be able to weave in and out of various cultural experiences, and in my day-to-day life engage with friends, family, acquaintances, colleagues and other people that continue to teach me their cultures and ways of life. Since I have been back to the land of my birth, Kenya, I have engaged, once again with the culture that I was raised in and this article summarizes some of the things I find strange as well as wonderful about my culture:
  • There is a clear division of labour between men and women, and this is especially evident when there are functions. The men sit and get waited on (not really division of labour, is it?) and the women slave in the kitchen. Otherwise, most women are still relegated to the home environment while men are the sole breadwinners in most homes working outside the home
  • Men who are domesticated generally get frowned upon by both women and their peers, and potential wives are unlikely to date 
  • Ubuntu/ oneness/ togetherness are critical in the functioning of the community. It is truly an integrated society where one family is not let to go hungry and where people deeply and genuinely care for one another
  • The culture of ‘harambee’/ fundraising is the order of the day. Even when people get married, the whole community fund-raises to pay for dowry and the wedding--- and thereafter, the whole community feels entitled to have a say in your marriage
  • A woman whose minimal dowry (a certain number of animals—usually goats and cows) has not been paid for can never be buried at her matrimonial home if she dies. Her side of the family will always insist that she be buried at her parents’ home
  • One will often hear women say that their husbands/ any men in the home are ‘not supposed’ to perform any household chores
  • The whole community feels like they have a stake in a child’s well-being and strangers will often demand to know their school performances
  • Women are not expected to contribute to critical debate on politics, the economy amongst other areas. This is a sphere the men are good at and will engage in quite fiercely during community functions
  • Men slaughter all the animals that are consumed in the home and during functions except two legged ones i.e. the chickens
  • Men and women sit in completely different spaces in public and the women will usually serve food to their husbands/ partners during functions
  • Very often men will assume that they do not need to let their families know where and who they are with (and they will often drag themselves home in the wee hours of the morning), and women are left to worry about their husbands/ partners while the latter are merely having a ‘good time’ with friends/ family/ colleagues/ community members
I am sure that some of these traits are very relevant in other African settings but what has been outstanding for me and perhaps a topic for another day (the feminist self) is how my culture really disadvantages women. I once heard that men are the happiest people in the world and I can see why this is the case from the examples above.

I don’t see myself participating in the entrenchment of some of the above traits if and when the opportunity arises and I hope that no lifelong partner shall expect me to. 

2 comments:

  1. I beg to differ - on the men are the happiest comment...I cant help but arrive at the opposite conclusion. See Tiresias' "Of ten parts a man enjoys one only" comment in response to Zeus' n Hera's question.

    If you ask me, this applies to more in life than just Mombasa Raha...having lived it, the female experience seems to me the more consummate of the two, but then again I am biased.

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  2. Practically speaking, women do more work than men (physically) and that was the basis of my argument. I think when you read any feminist literature, this is highly acknowledged.

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